Archive for March 23rd, 2010
Refueling with Love
March 23rd, 2010 | Author: Shannon
My 3 year old gave me a run for my mothering today.
He whined. He cried uncontrollably. He manipulated. He tattled. He pushed.
And underneath it all there was a little smile and a little frown.
I went to my trusty Positive Discipline book and looked up a few of these “behaviors” and decided I really had a little boy who felt a little neglected and wanted some special attention.
I went to a place in myself where I felt guilty for not giving him enough attention. For “leaving” him this weekend with friends while I went to my yoga teacher training. But….
I figured that while he’s a little boy and missed his mama, he still couldn’t be rewarded for being naughty.
So I crafted a solution, and I am blown away at how well it worked!
I usually allow him to watch TV while I cook dinner… it’s his “reward” for being good, it’s my reward for getting to dinner time; tonight I told him no, his could not watch TV but he could help me cook dinner.
This would give us some special time together without giving him a “reward” or a “punishment”.
He made the salad almost entirely on his own (what a big boy!).
After dinner we went outside and he watered all our plants with kelp spray, then played in the backyard, and finally went on our special walk to our pond and through the woods. This time was special though, daddy came with us!
Jeremiah was so excited to show his dad all the special places that he plays in the woods.
When we got home he asked again if he could watch his TV, I said no. He didn’t even whine (for the first time all day!) He got on his PJ’s picked out a book and was in bed and asleep by 8 pm.
I think all his acting out came from wanting special time with his family and it added such a wonderful twist to the whole experience that he got to “show off” to his dad (oh what a big boy!).
I have a feeling that we’ll have some great behavior tomorrow… not because he’ll want to get his TV reward, but because he feels so full and so rewarded to begin with, that he just won’t even need to act out. He’s coming from feeling whole and loved and connected to his family, not running on empty, he running full of love.
I never even raised my voice… and it worked like a charm.
What do you do about whining? I go nuts… any tips out there mamas and papas?
This is part of the Steady Mom blog challenge. Post time start to finish 28 minutes (but I haven’t published yet!)
