Archive for the ‘Parent Notes’ Category
Blog Carnival: Backyard Mama Goes on the Road!
A few weeks ago I loaded the kids in the car, filled the trunk with seeds, seed potatoes, and seed starts and my trusty rototiller road “shotgun”.
We headed off to my dear friend Nadine’s house.
A little side family history: Nadine is married to Jori, one of my brother’s best friends growing up. Our families were very close and we spent tons of time together. (Playing outside!)
Well, our families are still friends and when I am in a bind for childcare or my laundry just piles up too high or my son needs a place to stay the night- I call them up and off he goes backpack-in-hand ready to visit his best friends. (Much like my brother and I when we were young.)
When we arrived we had a great lunch and then we went to work on the garden; I had offered to put in veggies, since they are always so helpful to me.
The kids helped digging and making raised beds.
We planted peas, onions sets, lettuce, carrots, beets, spinach, kale and potatos. The day was filled with team work, and laughter and a little heavy lifting.
In the end, we made a beautiful garden.
To another generation of friendship. Thanks!
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Welcome back the the Backyard Mama Children and Nature Blog Carnival. Shared between the kids, the house, the chickens and creating a business, my time has been in short supply. I look forward to sharing ideas and inspiration with you in whatever form you can today.
And I promise, no matter how enticing it is to play outside, next week I’ll be back to continue creating this community of awesome explorers.
Please link- up, remember to follow the rules and include the line “this is part of the Backyard Mama blog carnival” with a link back to this post.
Thank you for your support and participation! Now unplug and head outside from some Nature Play! ~ The Backyard Mama
Note to Parents: What’s Worth Imitating?
We spent the whole weekend outside: playing in a homemade mud puddle, racking leaves, climbing trees, and digging in the garden.
We left home for groceries (bummer we needed to do that!)
It was so delightful.
At a time in my life, I might have thought I didn’t “do” anything. Now, feel good unplugging from the craze of “doing” for long enough to really feel the joy of this moment.
Note to parents: in order for kids to connect with nature, we need to show them how… we need to get dirty, play joyfully in the mud, kick a ball, dance in the sunshine, and sing with the birds.
Kids learn through imitation.
What did you do this weekend worth imitating?
Come over and play at the Childhood 101 We Play link up
Letting Go
Today we made a trip out to our compost pile and found hundreds of happy little worms turning our “waist” into fertile soil.
I’ve been spending time lately thinking about what I want to grow for myself this year: in the garden, in my life, in my community. I’ve started planting the seeds by 1) heading out to the garden and planting peas, lettuce, spinach, garlic, onions, broccoli, and kale; 2) taking my ideas of how to connect children and nature into the broader Rhode Island community through workshops; and 3) starting a blog carnival each Wednesday here at Backyard Mama.
I am starting to see the fruits of my labor which fills me with satisfaction.
Of course there are disappointments too: some of my lettuce didn’t come up, some peas floated away in the flood, not all workshop participants were enthralled with my ideas and the first carnival was much more successful than the second.
It’s through these expereinces that my soil becomes richly fertilized. The mistakes or failures that I let go of, fall to the grown like leaves from a tree and as they are transformed through my thoughts, they become the compost of next year; ever reminding me that what I let go of today, will feed me tomorrow.
One reason I love to learn lessons from nature is the simplicity of the life cycle: birth (springtime), ripeness (summertime), death, (autumntime), and transformation (wintertime). As I connect inside to these outer processes, letting go becomes as simple as breath.
Many thanks to my worms for reminding me that my thoughts can turn the ”waist” of my mind into rich fertile soil in which to plant the dreams of my lifetime.
This post is part of the 30 minute blog challenge over at Steady Mom. It’s a delight to share my thoughts with all these great ladies!
Earth Day: Building Blocks for a Better World
I love the innocence of children.
Today I watched as my little ones ran through our flower garden, full of blooming daffodils they planted in the Fall. Jumping and singing and being totally present in their play.
A few weeks ago my son wrapped up blocks and gave them to me as presents. Then built me a “sink” (not sure why he picked a sink maybe it’s where I spend most of my day) but this is what he created:
He loves to craft and create and listens eagerly to us as we discuss modifications to the house or the yard.
Then in his play (like with his sink) he imitates everything he has heard (learned) from us adults.
I’ll admit, when I see him in the garden digging holes and “planting”; or building houses; or planning yard projects like adding compost to one side of the yard and moving rocks from one place to another; or when he gathers his tools to get some dirt from the forest.. I really smiles inside and out- because I know that as he imitates me, he is learning to care for the Earth.
We’re planning to pick up garbage for Earth Day, what’s your plan?
This is part of the Steady Mom Blog Challenge- dare I tell you the truth? Start to finish post time- 12 minutes.
Parenting with Style
My Childhood
My fondest memories of childhood are from a time when my family lived in a cabin in the woods, we walked down a path to get to our two room home and we had no running water or electricity.
All this was so fun for a little 7 year old girl, but the best was that my parents let us wonder the surrounding woods freely.My father made up a system for “tracking” us- he would whistle once and we would respond with one whistle back; if he whistled twice- it meant we better get home fast.
This worked, no one got hurt or lost or kidnapped, we didn’t sink into the swamp or get attacked by animals.
My style
I am sort of a “free range parent” I previously posted about allowing my son to take risks.
Last week we were playing out in the backyard and my son wanted to go down the street to the big puddle (oh yeah, it was raining out-big surprise!). I explained that there were children asleep in the house and I didn’t want to go that far away…
A few minutes later I looked up and Jeremiah was gone. Hum, I went inside and looked around… well it didn’t take long for me to head out the front door and find him…
He’d gone off by himself to play in the puddle.
I got nervous- what if someone saw? What would they do? I let my three year old play in the street alone.
Now, he’s a smart kid; he’d get out of the road if a car came. He’d run through the woods if a weirdo came… he’s not a big fan of anyone he doesn’t know.
{Or maybe what’s important is that I believe this about him.}
Dad’s Style
Charlie’s style is very different. He hovers and worries and limits activities. Jeremiah is much “safer” with him than with me.
Yesterday we went to Jeremiah’s soon-to-be-school and he climbed up a big wooden boat that’s outside. It has a mast with a ladder and my little dare devil went right up and onto the roof of the boat.
His dad was there to remind us this wasn’t all that safe. There were sharp corners on the boat, it was rickety, and a number of other things I don’t remember.
A Winning Combination
I’ve come to like that we have different approaches.
I give him a cup without a lid and he pours his own milk; his dad gives him a full cup of milk with the lid on.
But I like taking risks; they help me learn to have faith.
I still think I am going to instate the whistle rule to keep my ducks in a row!
How bout you, what’s your style? How was it for you growing up? Or what’s it like to co-parent?
This post is part of the 30-minute blog challenge of Steady Mom.
Refueling with Love
My 3 year old gave me a run for my mothering today.
He whined. He cried uncontrollably. He manipulated. He tattled. He pushed.
And underneath it all there was a little smile and a little frown.
I went to my trusty Positive Discipline book and looked up a few of these “behaviors” and decided I really had a little boy who felt a little neglected and wanted some special attention.
I went to a place in myself where I felt guilty for not giving him enough attention. For “leaving” him this weekend with friends while I went to my yoga teacher training. But….
I figured that while he’s a little boy and missed his mama, he still couldn’t be rewarded for being naughty.
So I crafted a solution, and I am blown away at how well it worked!
I usually allow him to watch TV while I cook dinner… it’s his “reward” for being good, it’s my reward for getting to dinner time; tonight I told him no, his could not watch TV but he could help me cook dinner.
This would give us some special time together without giving him a “reward” or a “punishment”.
He made the salad almost entirely on his own (what a big boy!).
After dinner we went outside and he watered all our plants with kelp spray, then played in the backyard, and finally went on our special walk to our pond and through the woods. This time was special though, daddy came with us!
Jeremiah was so excited to show his dad all the special places that he plays in the woods.
When we got home he asked again if he could watch his TV, I said no. He didn’t even whine (for the first time all day!) He got on his PJ’s picked out a book and was in bed and asleep by 8 pm.
I think all his acting out came from wanting special time with his family and it added such a wonderful twist to the whole experience that he got to “show off” to his dad (oh what a big boy!).
I have a feeling that we’ll have some great behavior tomorrow… not because he’ll want to get his TV reward, but because he feels so full and so rewarded to begin with, that he just won’t even need to act out. He’s coming from feeling whole and loved and connected to his family, not running on empty, he running full of love.
I never even raised my voice… and it worked like a charm.
What do you do about whining? I go nuts… any tips out there mamas and papas?
This is part of the Steady Mom blog challenge. Post time start to finish 28 minutes (but I haven’t published yet!)
Play Fosters Learning
Indoor play areas can be imbued with natural colors and objects that come from nature or reflect the natural world.
This picture is of our play area and this gateway serves as a doorway into the incredible world of the beaming imaginations of young children.
This area has been:
~ A doctors office.
~ A library.
~ A restaurant/ coffee shop/ bakery.
~ A fire station with rescue workers poised and ready.
~ A construction site.
It changes daily and these young ones are learning so many vital skills as they create and re-create stories. They see themselves as heroes and heroin.
I’ve been reading through early childhood materials that act as a guideline for what teachers are “supposed to do” in their classrooms. This kind of play fosters:
Language development- as the children communicate with one another they are listening, comprehending and speaking.
Literacy- as they learn to tell stories they become interested in writing stories and see their story as book worthy.
Mathematics- the spatial relationships between items and object and the materials teach geometry and patters.
Creative Arts- this is dramatic play where the children see themselves as others and take on roles.
Social and Emotional Development- as the children play together in their world, “un- adulterated” they are learning to cooperate, self- regulate, and have social relationships with peers.
Approaches to Learning- they are interested and curious, engaged and persistent and are finding their own solutions as they use these other skill domains.
Physical Health- these play stands are moved and removed and covered and uncovered a bazillion times, using fine and gross motor skills. As they engage in the play (especially doctors office play) they are also demonstrating understanding of good healthy practices.
(In bold are 7 of the 8 domains of early child development per Head Start).
Play is REALLY fundamental to learning.
How have you fostered a child’s imagination today?
This is part of the 30 minute blog challenge of Steady Mom. Post time start to finish 30 minutes.
A Spectacular “T.V.” Lunch
There are all sorts of ways to enjoy nature: hiking, walking, running, stroller riding, investigating, learning, adventuring… but to me, one of the greatest ways to enjoy it is eating.
I remember backpacking trips where the entire day was full of splendid views, animals, butterflies, flowers, and what I remember the most is sitting down at the end of the day with my little whisperlite stove and cooking up something good.
I remember trips to beach with my grandparents, playing in the sand and the surf, flying kites, and going on walks yet what sticks out the most? Eating peanut butter and jelly and being told that this is why they call it a SANDwich.
I remember schools trips where we snacked in parks, fields, or in the woods: I even remember in first grade there was a huge forsythia bush that we played and ate under.
These days I love to take the kids in the stroller or just out out backdoor into the back field where we sit on a blanket and have a picnic.
It tickled me to death the day my son and his friend took their lunch trays out the backdoor for a “T.V.” lunch- this is what it looked like!

Kids are so creative when the walls of the house aren’t barriers.
How have you opened the door for your children today?
This is part of the 30 minute blog challenge of Steady Mom. Thanks for stopping by and remember to check out all the other great posts and help Jaime in supporting Love 146.
Love is in the air

It’s February! One more month till planting begins! It’s also Black History Month, so many US Presidents were born this month that we honor them with Presidents Day… and of course it’s Valentines Day! There’s lots of love about February.
I am offering myself some self-love too by sharing with you the Best of Backyard Mama. In case you missed these posts or just found me and haven’t the time to dig through the archives. These are my picks so enjoy!
Best of Backyard Mama
Butterfly Paradise (and related posts)
How to Build a Simple Tipi Fort
Materials that Encourage Creativity and Outside Play
Ready Set Fall! 10 Ways to Enjoy the Season
What do you think? Show some love, what are your favorite posts?
Dreaming My Life
I want to write a book.
Be a children’s yoga teacher.
Teach children about nature.
Be an awesome gardener and grow most of my own food.
I want to be a great friend, the best mother, and the most nurturing wife.
I want it ALL. NOW.
The past fall Lisa Tener had a contest on her blog called It’s An Authors Dream Contest. This is what I wrote:
“The meat of my book is to share my excitement and love of nature and children with my readers. I want to inspire the least outdoorsy mama to take her little ones to the park and turn over rocks to look for bugs and the most A-type mama to take a break between power meetings to wade in a creek and look for minnows and empower a school teacher to plant a garden or lead a mini outdoor yoga class at the beginning of the school day- barefoot on the school lawn. I want to share games and songs and riddles to beaming children with ear to ear smiles as they catch butterflies or dance with the ocean surf.
“In five years, I will wake up to the chirping of the morning birds to meditate and practice yoga before anyone in the house has moved. I will eat fresh fruits granola and yogurt with my children as they ready themselves for school. We will ride our bikes to school. I will teach yoga in the afternoon and workshops on children and nature on the weekend. I will be the director of a nature based preschool or will serve on the board and volunteer in the classrooms. My youngest will attend the preschool and those days I will have some time for writing. I will be working on my second book about children and spirituality (or perhaps it will be published?) This would leave time for a third- a story about my ancestors. Oh this is fun!”
Well, I won the contest and I got to attend The Dream Party. And it really helped solidify for me what it is I really want. At this party I asked the Dream Team a question, “How do you balance between what is going on in your life and your dreams?”
Circumstances in my life have changed since September. I have a new little girl to care for, and many important things in my life that are happening right now. My actual writing of a book is on the back burner, but here I am blogging and I believe that these are the baby steps towards my dream.
What I Really Want:
I want the house to be cleaned everyday. I want clean dishes, floors, laundry, and children. I want my son to be kind, generous and confident. I want a happy relationship with my handsome husband; I want my husband to be totally content with his life and our life together. I want time to myself everyday. And I want my son to go to sleep at 7 pm every night by himself after eating a hearty, healthy meal. I want beautiful weather and lots of outside playtime. I want a spectacular garden and a heated greenhouse in which to grow winter vegetable. I want 12 hours of daylight year round and rain… but not too much and only at night. I want big juicy tomatoes, crisp lettuce and crunchy cucumbers. I want an endless supply of compost and straw. I want healthy chickens that lay big brown or blue eggs and docile goats with delicious milk. I want my son to never talk back to me and my husband to always agree with all my plans.
I want a lot… so I am working on myself and looking to accept and be grateful for what I have and set realistic goals.
I am taking a Children’s Yoga Teacher Training right now. I get one weekend a month to go to Boston, hang out, learn new stuff and enjoy myself. My family and friends take time to support me and take care of the kids, the house etc.
I am asking for one night out a week. And my husband reluctantly agrees. But come on can I blame him? He works outside in 20 degree weather and does his best to bring home the bacon. He wants nights off too! (And I do encourage him to take his time) but when I tell him that I am tired from being with the kids all day. He smirks. He’s REALLY tired.
My son is learning, testing boundaries, growing, changing, having growth spurts, and scary dreams. His life is fluctuating and changing with little input from him. We shuffle him around from here to there (not that much but sometimes) and gosh golly, he wants his mom to put him to bed at night. So I do.
This is my life. It’s the life I dreamed before I had this life. Now that I have this, I want MORE, MORE, MORE.
I am living my dream life. I have little children to love and cherish. I have a wonderful husband who is skilled and gentle. I have a cute home with a great yard. I have a wonderful blog and blogging community where I get a lot of my social needs met and I get to practice writing, so that someday I will write that book I am dreaming. I have a daycare in my home, thus the nature based preschool.
There are many people who have helped me get to where I am… and although most will probably never read this post, I want to take a minute of my time to just say THANK YOU…….. (with a long silent pause).
Just like a seed planted in the ground, my dreams are being watered by the love and care of those around me and me, with time, the dream seed with cast away its protective coat and the little seedling will emerge growing towards the light. The seedling will continue to grow, transforming in to a plant that looks nothing like the original seedling. That plant is the dream realized.
For now, I am adding fertilizer to the soil, watering, and waiting. Patience grasshopper. Patience.
This is part of the link up of Strocel.com. Amber is one of my favorite bloggers, she is full of inspiration, insight, humor, and wisdom. I am excited to participate in Crafting My Life.




















