Archive for the ‘Parent Notes’ Category

Fire has a lot of practical applications; it can be dangerous when out of control- but it’s useful to cook food, keep warm, or bring light into darkness. Yet, most kids are kept safely away from fire, flames, matches, lighters etc. This is in part just practical, but it’s really not serving children well all the time. Caution is a good tool and so is fire.

My son lights the dinner candles with some help, but this is one of his jobs and has been for a while; he knows to use matches cautiously and wisely.

He has been my assistant in attending to a burn pile. (See picture). He spent most of his day playing in the mud created by the running hose. But he did learn that keeping water near a fire is a good idea!

Roasting marshmallows over the open fire is now a favored past time. Through playing with the placement of the roasting stick he has learned how the flames become cooler further away and hotter closer to the source. He has learned the difference between the flame and the hot air around the flame.

In the winter, he regularly helped me stoke the fire with new logs. And he always reminds me to use the fire glove. So his experiences have subconsciously (and consciously) given him the awareness about the power and heat of a flame/ fire.

And he’s four. There are age appropriate times to allow children the freedom to take on these tasks and if adults give children the chance to practice under closely supervised situations, then when a child actually really needs to use fire as a tool with independence, he (or she- don’t rob our girls from this experience!) will be able to do so cautiously.

As we head into Fourth of July and a weekend of FIREWORKS, take note of your own attitude towards teaching children about fire… not just using scare tactics, but really educating them so when the time is right- use of fire can be done safely.

Good luck and make sure to check back here soon and please comment!

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My son had his last day of school for the holiday break on December 13th. I was so excited for our couple weeks together and couldn’t wait to spend time with him, head out on adventures, decorate the house and, of course, make cookies.

We made it through the weekend. The two weeks speed by; we spent many days baking cookies, playing outside, I worked while he played at his Nana’s and then yesterday was his first day back at school.

I was as excited to send him back to his friends and his beloved teachers as I was to spend special time with him.

He was too.

When we arrived at school (after much fuss), he ran down the pathway, into his classroom and out the door to the beautiful nature playground where his friends were. Their first activity is to take a walk to Grandfather Tree. The snow remaining from our post-Christmas storm still adorned the play area and trails. He was ready in his snowsuit to follow the creativity of his heart.

I was left at the door without someone to nag, tend to, feed, or occupy.

It only took a moment for me to realize that I could use this time for me.

And so I went to nature, listening to the birds and feeling the wind on my face; experiencing the snow as it crunched beneath my feet and the leaves as they danced in the wind. The sky was a beautiful deep blue and last night, the stars were crystal clear.

My heart got to take a rest from the constant work of caring for another and I was able to spend time caring for myself.

This is why I advocate for time in nature. Each of us needs a break from the hustle and bustle of life and in nature it is possible to find solace and to rekindle the passions of our being.

I have abandoned making New Year Resolutions, instead I commit to following my heart into nature where I can find inner comfort and contentment.

Children need this too. I bet my son’s enthusiasm for running to school was partially fueled by the excitement and peacefulness he could experience playing beneath Grandfather Tree. As a mother, I am so grateful to the teachers who allow him to play naturally and experience the elements. This really is the foundation of all his learning experiences and for his personal ability to take care of and tend to himself.

How are you easing the transition back into life for yourself and your family? Is nature involved?

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A few weeks ago I loaded the kids in the car, filled the trunk with seeds, seed potatoes, and seed starts and my trusty rototiller road “shotgun”.

We headed off to my dear friend Nadine’s house. 

A little side family history: Nadine is married to Jori, one of my brother’s best friends growing up. Our families were very close and we spent tons of time together. (Playing outside!)

Well, our families are still friends and when I am in a bind for childcare or my laundry just piles up too high or my son needs a place to stay the night- I call them up and off he goes backpack-in-hand ready to visit his best friends. (Much like my brother and I when we were young.)

When we arrived we had a great lunch and then we went to work on the garden; I had offered to put in veggies, since they are always so helpful to me.

The kids helped digging and making raised beds.

We planted peas, onions sets, lettuce, carrots, beets, spinach, kale and potatos. The day was filled with team work, and laughter and a little heavy lifting.

In the end, we made a beautiful garden. 

To another generation of friendship. Thanks!

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Welcome back the the Backyard Mama Children and Nature Blog Carnival. Shared between the kids, the house, the chickens and creating a business, my time has been in short supply. I look forward to sharing ideas and inspiration with you in whatever form you can today.

And I promise, no matter how enticing it is to play outside, next week I’ll be back to continue creating this community of awesome explorers.

Please link- up, remember to follow the rules and include the line “this is part of the Backyard Mama blog carnival” with a link back to this post.

Thank you for your support and participation! Now unplug and head outside from some Nature Play! ~ The Backyard Mama

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Taken a few weeks ago as we played in the mud.

We spent the whole weekend outside:  playing in a homemade mud puddle, racking leaves, climbing trees, and digging in the garden.

We left home for groceries (bummer we needed to do that!)

It was so delightful.

At a time in my life, I might have thought I didn’t “do” anything. Now, feel good unplugging from the craze of “doing” for long enough to really feel the joy of this moment.

Note to parents: in order for kids to connect with nature, we need to show them how… we need to get dirty, play joyfully in the mud, kick a ball, dance in the sunshine, and sing with the birds.

Kids learn through imitation.

What did you do this weekend worth imitating?

Come over and play at the Childhood 101 We Play link up

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Today we made a trip out to our compost pile and found hundreds of happy little worms turning our “waist” into fertile soil.

I’ve been spending time lately thinking about what I want to grow for myself this year: in the garden, in my life, in my community. I’ve started planting the seeds by 1) heading out to the garden and planting peas, lettuce, spinach, garlic, onions, broccoli, and kale; 2) taking my ideas of how to connect children and nature into the broader Rhode Island community through workshops; and 3) starting a blog carnival each Wednesday here at Backyard Mama.

I am starting to see the fruits of my labor which fills me with satisfaction.

Of course there are disappointments too: some of my lettuce didn’t come up, some peas floated away in the flood, not all workshop participants were enthralled with my ideas and the first carnival was much more successful than the second.

It’s through these expereinces that my soil becomes richly fertilized. The mistakes or failures that I let go of, fall to the grown like leaves from a tree and as they are transformed through my thoughts, they become the compost of next year; ever reminding me that what I let go of today, will feed me tomorrow. 

One reason I love to learn lessons from nature is the simplicity of the life cycle: birth  (springtime), ripeness (summertime),  death, (autumntime), and transformation (wintertime). As I connect inside to these outer processes, letting go becomes as simple as breath.

Many thanks to my worms for reminding me that my thoughts can turn the ”waist” of my mind into rich fertile soil in which to plant the dreams of my lifetime.

This post is part of the 30 minute blog challenge over at Steady Mom. It’s a delight to share my thoughts with all these great ladies!

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I love the innocence of children.

Today I watched as my little ones ran through our flower garden, full of blooming daffodils they planted in the Fall.  Jumping and singing and being totally present in their play.

A few weeks ago my son wrapped up blocks and gave them to me as presents. Then built me a “sink” (not sure why he picked a sink maybe it’s where I spend most of my day) but this is what he created:

He loves to craft and create and listens eagerly to us as we discuss modifications to the house or the yard.

Then in his play (like with his sink) he imitates everything he has heard (learned) from us adults.

I’ll admit, when I see him in the garden digging holes and “planting”; or building houses; or planning yard projects like adding compost to one side of the yard and moving rocks from one place to another; or when he gathers his tools to get some dirt from the forest.. I really smiles inside and out- because I know that as he imitates me, he is learning to care for the Earth.

We’re planning to pick up garbage for Earth Day, what’s your plan?

This is part of the Steady Mom Blog Challenge- dare I tell you the truth? Start to finish post time- 12 minutes.

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My Childhood

My fondest memories of childhood are from a time when my family lived in a cabin in the woods, we walked down a path to get to our two room home and we had no running water or electricity.  

All this was so fun for a little 7 year old girl, but the best was that my parents let us wonder the surrounding woods freely.My father made up a system for “tracking” us- he would whistle once and we would respond with one whistle back; if he whistled twice- it meant we better get home fast.  

This worked, no one got hurt or lost or kidnapped, we didn’t sink into the swamp or get attacked by animals.

My style

I am sort of a “free range parent” I previously posted about allowing my son to take risks.

Last week we were playing out in the backyard and my son wanted to go down the street to the big puddle (oh yeah, it was raining out-big surprise!). I explained that there were children asleep in the house and I didn’t want to go that far away…

A few minutes later I looked up and Jeremiah was gone. Hum, I went inside and looked around… well it didn’t take long for me to head out the front door and find him…

He’d gone off by himself to play in the puddle.

I got nervous- what if someone saw? What would they do? I let my three year old play in the street alone.

Now, he’s a smart kid; he’d get out of the road if a car came. He’d run through the woods if a weirdo came… he’s not a big fan of anyone he doesn’t know. 

{Or maybe what’s important is that I believe this about him.}

Dad’s Style 

Charlie’s style is very different. He hovers and worries and limits activities. Jeremiah is much “safer” with him than with me.

Yesterday we went to Jeremiah’s soon-to-be-school and he climbed up a big wooden boat that’s outside. It has a mast with a ladder and my little dare devil went right up and onto the roof of the boat.

His dad was there to remind us this wasn’t all that safe. There were sharp corners on the boat, it was rickety, and a number of other things I don’t remember.

A Winning Combination

I’ve come to like that we have different approaches.

I give him a cup without a lid and he pours his own milk; his dad gives him a full cup of milk with the lid on.

But I like taking risks; they help me learn to have faith.

I still think I am going to instate the whistle rule to keep my ducks in a row!

How bout you, what’s your style? How was it for you growing up? Or what’s it like to co-parent?

This post is part of the 30-minute blog challenge of Steady Mom.

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My 3 year old gave me a run for my mothering today.

He whined. He cried uncontrollably. He manipulated. He tattled. He pushed.

And underneath it all there was a little smile and a little frown.

I went to my trusty Positive Discipline book and looked up a few of these “behaviors” and decided I really had a little boy who felt a little neglected and wanted some special attention.

I went to a place in myself where I felt guilty for not giving him enough attention. For “leaving” him this weekend with friends while I went to my yoga teacher training. But….

I figured that while he’s a little boy and missed his mama, he still couldn’t be rewarded for being naughty.

So I crafted a solution, and I am blown away at how well it worked!

I usually allow him to watch TV while I cook dinner… it’s his “reward” for being good, it’s my reward for getting to dinner time; tonight I told him no, his could not watch TV but he could help me cook dinner.

This would give us some special time together without giving him a “reward” or a “punishment”.

He made the salad almost entirely on his own (what a big boy!).

After dinner we went outside and he watered all our plants with kelp spray, then played in the backyard, and finally went on our special walk to our pond and through the woods. This time was special though, daddy came with us!

Jeremiah was so excited to show his dad all the special places that he plays in the woods.

When we got home he asked again if he could watch his TV, I said no. He didn’t even whine (for the first time all day!) He got on his PJ’s picked out a book and was in bed and asleep by 8 pm.

I think all his acting out came from wanting special time with his family and it added such a wonderful twist to the whole experience that he got to “show off” to his dad (oh what a big boy!).

I have a feeling that we’ll have some great behavior tomorrow… not because he’ll want to get his TV reward, but because he feels so full and so rewarded to begin with, that he just won’t even need to act out. He’s coming from feeling whole and loved and connected to his family, not running on empty, he running full of love.

I never even raised my voice… and it worked like a charm.

What do you do about whining? I go nuts… any tips out there mamas and papas?

This is part of the Steady Mom blog challenge. Post time start to finish 28 minutes (but I haven’t published yet!) 

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Indoor play areas can be imbued with natural colors and objects that come from nature or reflect the natural world.

This picture is of our play area and this gateway serves as a doorway into the incredible world of the beaming imaginations of young children.

This area has been:

~ A doctors office.

~ A library.

~ A restaurant/ coffee shop/ bakery.

~ A fire station with rescue workers poised and ready.

~ A construction site.

It changes daily and these young ones are learning so many vital skills as they create and re-create stories. They see themselves as heroes and heroin.

I’ve been reading through early childhood materials that act as a guideline for what teachers are “supposed to do” in their classrooms. This kind of play fosters:

Language development- as the children communicate with one another they are listening, comprehending and speaking.

Literacy- as they learn to tell stories they become interested in writing stories and see their story as book worthy.

Mathematics-  the spatial relationships between items and object and the materials teach geometry and patters.

Creative Arts- this is dramatic play where the children see themselves as others and take on roles.

Social and Emotional Development- as the children play together in their world, “un- adulterated” they are learning to cooperate, self- regulate, and have social relationships with peers.

Approaches to Learning- they are interested and curious, engaged and persistent and are finding their own solutions as they use these other skill domains.

Physical Health- these play stands are moved and removed and covered and uncovered a bazillion times, using fine and gross motor skills. As they engage in the play (especially doctors office play) they are also demonstrating understanding of good healthy practices.

(In bold are 7 of the 8 domains of early child development per Head Start).

Play is REALLY fundamental to learning.

How have you fostered a child’s imagination today?

This is part of the 30 minute blog challenge of Steady Mom. Post time start to finish 30 minutes.

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There are all sorts of ways to enjoy nature: hiking, walking, running, stroller riding, investigating, learning, adventuring… but to me, one of the greatest ways to enjoy it is eating.

I remember backpacking trips where the entire day was full of splendid views, animals, butterflies, flowers, and what I remember the most is sitting down at the end of the day with my little whisperlite stove and cooking up something good.

I remember trips to beach with my grandparents, playing in the sand and the surf, flying kites, and going on walks yet what sticks out the most? Eating peanut butter and jelly and being told that this is why they call it a SANDwich.

I remember schools trips where we snacked in parks, fields, or in the woods: I even remember in first grade there was a huge forsythia bush that we played and ate under.

These days I love to take the kids in the stroller or just out out backdoor into the back field where we sit on a blanket and have a picnic.

It tickled me to death the day my son and his friend took their lunch trays out the backdoor for a “T.V.” lunch- this is what it looked like!

Kids are so creative when the walls of the house aren’t barriers.

How have you opened the door for your children today?

This is part of the 30 minute blog challenge of Steady Mom. Thanks for stopping by and remember to check out all the other great posts and help Jaime in supporting Love 146.

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